So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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