Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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