I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
