hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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