those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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