Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
