its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Blood and glitter go together right?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
