next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
