Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
