It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Vodka?
Forever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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