I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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