According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
