ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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