I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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