is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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