No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
