it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You made out with two different species that night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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