We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
