How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
