How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
