It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
