i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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