I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
