Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
