That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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