He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
