oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
