it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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