This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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