How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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