i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
