This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
