i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
