I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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