I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
