i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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