She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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