SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
this is an emotional support booty call
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
