If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
