Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
