no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
