I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
