She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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