There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
