apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
