he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
