believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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