Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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