My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
