I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
